I have just under two months left in this brilliant city and I only now realise that all the answers that I thought I’d find while I was here have eluded me. In fact more questions have been added to the list of never ending soul searching yet to do. This is how I see it, with every new month a new chapter is added to the ever expanding book of life. (Okay okay Jake, calm down with the metaphors) With that chapter comes a list of questions, usually decisions you need to make or things you need to figure out. What is my next step? What can I do to be healthier? Should I have pizza for dinner tonight? I am always very insistent on answering these questions as soon as I can so once the questions are answered I can start one of my OCD lists in my notebook and then start checking things off slowly, which in turn adds more questions that I will eventually need to answer.
Oh my. That is a horrific circle, isn’t it? From today I break this circle. I don’t know if I believe in fate but I do believe that things work out for the better, if you are patient and hard working enough. This incessant need to control my own life is too much and is now somehow controlling me. When in fact all I need to do is focus on the the things that matter and do what makes me happy. And yes I will continue to ask myself questions but they don’t need an answer right now, they may not be answered for years to come.
So when I walk down the street in a few hours on my way to a long day of learning, I will remember to look around and smell the roses, so to speak. I will smile and know who I am. I will remember that all that needs answering will be answered, whenever the time is right. And that is what I will do everyday from now on.
Reading this I know that you wont be on the same journey as me and things that I am going through may not even be a thought in your mind but I like to think that the idea of knowing things will eventually happen for you, transcends the boundaries of this specific situation. Hear me out, I want you to think of whatever questions you are asking yourself in your life right now. Then I want you to not worry about them, know that a time will come when that question will just be 2+2=4 on a piece of paper. Things have their own ways of answering themselves. So next time you see the sky, think of this, take a breath and keep going, keep living and make the impossible, possible.
See you back here this weekend for my next Vlog!