I have been in New York almost a week, time flies and it keeps getting crazier. Since we last spoke it has snowed and turned colder than I ever thought it could. I have been on a boat in the Manhattan marina, I have walked from one side of Manhattan to the other and purchased my first one dollar slice of pizza! A must in New York City.
On this freezing day in January I sit writing, looking for inspiration. My usual source is You Tube but something about that isn’t working for me today so I decide to look through some old documents and pieces of writing. “The Letters Project” is something I started almost two years ago now and never finished. I had forgotten about it up until now but reading it back and realising how much I have changed even since writing this letter, is unbelievable. I thought I would share this with you today with an added thought about change.
Change can be for good or for bad, it’s what you do with it that counts. If you spend every day regretting, blaming or worrying about changes there is no room to take what you have and run with it. Run like the wind and know that this is what you want at this moment. Make stupid decision and see what happens. No one is perfect and everyone changes over time. Reading this letter teaches me that you never reach a plateau of perfection or equally you never stay the same. Take things one day at a time and keep smiling!
The Letters Project – 6th March 2013
To my Younger Self,
Things do get better, I promise. What I think you don’t realize is that you have got such a long way to go and such a lot of changing to do. Theres nothing wrong with who you are, and there is nothing wrong with who you end up being. But all those days you spend being up on your high horse wondering weather you will ever find ‘that person’ who totally understands you is not entirely good for you. I have a tip for you right now, look around, breath and stop taking things so goddamn seriously.
There is a big part of you that still exists in me, probably bigger than I even realize but thinking back to going into school everyday at the age of 14 acting like an 18-year-old thinking ‘when are these people around me going to grow up’ is not good for your own self, there is a point you will reach and I don’t even know if I have reached it yet, where you will stop looking and comparing yourself to other people.
You will stop caring what people think. You will sit in your onesie with your Uggs by your side at 10.38pm, in London, writing a letter which in reality is just you talking to yourself, which will then make you think about the first sign of madness, then you will realize that you probably passed that first sign years ago; then you will laugh. I’m telling you now, you will think this and it wont even matter.
My advice to you is forget about the little things and smile, like you did when you were younger. When you were confident, eccentric and happy. Think back to those time and learn from them, take from them what you can and apply them to your life now. There are many people around you who still think your special, remember that.
One more thing, your Mum is soon going to give you some advice and it wont really stick with you until you move away. She will say ‘Don’t wish your days away, time flies and before you know it you will wish you hadn’t wished those days away so fast’. This is truer that you know, value each moment and make it count.
With love from your older self,